Dear Bossip: He Wants Custody Of His Ex’s Child, But It’s Not His & I’m Having Our First Child Which He Refers To As His Second Child

 Relationships  No Responses »
May 172013
 

Pregnant Woman

Dear Bossip,

I am currently in a loving relationship with my high school sweetheart.

We are both 25-years old and I am expecting a baby girl this month. We broke up in 2007 when he wanted to move to GA and I wanted to stay in NY and finish college. However, we reunited in 2011. During the time we were not together he was a dating a girl who manipulated him into believing she was pregnant with his child. Once the child was a year old a DNA test was done and it proved that he was not the child’s father. Yet, my boyfriend is still attached to the child and still treats him as his own. In addition, he is looking at our child as his second child.

My boyfriend also wants to fight for full custody of this child so that he can live with us. I completely understand his attachment to the child and I support him being in the child’s life, but I do not feel like it is fair for the child to move in with us. This will be my first baby and I will be forced to be a mom and a stepmother all in one shot.

The child is currently living happy and well with his great grandmother, but my boyfriend insists that the child should be with him. I don’t even know if it is possible for him to gain full custody being that he is not the child’s biological father. Also, I believe the child’s mother has a problem with me being pregnant. I can’t even wrap my mind around why her and her family is happy with my boyfriend pretending to be this child’s father.

I have been keeping my opinion to myself and just being as supportive as possible, but I don’t believe that is the best thing to do. A social worker recently told me I should convince my boyfriend to get counseling to help him learn to let go of the child. I am just very confused about what to do and I do not want to be labeled the bad guy. I just want me and my boyfriend to be happy. I would love to hear your opinion on the situation. Thank you very much for your time. – Not His Child

Dear Ms. Not His Child,

What the??? I mean I’m all for men stepping up and being a good dude, especially a man who steps up to the plate for a child he didn’t know about, but, a child that is not even his, and he wants to seek full custody of this child, and he’s not even with the mother of the child?!? That is quite bizarre and strange.

Let’s consider perhaps it’s because the child is a male child and he’s developed both an emotional and mental bond with the child. Maybe he feels he can do more for the child than the mother, and the father. And, if the father isn’t present in the child’s life he may feel some guilt with the child being without a father. And, during the relationship he had with the mother and with her family he probably built an emotional bond with them, and may feel sorry for the mother because she may not have the support system, or wherewithal to care for the child as a single parent.

Regardless, however, I agree with the social worker that he should receive counseling to get to the root of his connection with the child, and why he feels the need to seek full custody of a child that is not his. And, the fact you are pregnant, and he is not acknowledging your child as his first child. Something is really off about this. It sounds as if he hasn’t connected with his own first child in such a way that he has with this other child. But, your child hasn’t been born as of yet, so you don’t know what bond may occur when your child is born, and what feelings he may develop once your child is in his arms, and a part of your life. Things may drastically change.

But, I’m more concerned that you haven’t expressed your feelings around this matter with him. You say you don’t want to be the bad guy, and you’ve kept your opinions to yourself, as well as tried to be supportive of him and this situation. Uhm, sweetie, this is a contradiction of what you really feel, and thus, I imagine you have garnered some resentment toward the child, and this situation. If you don’t speak up and speak your truth, then you will grow angry, and bitter. If you’re not feeling it, and it makes you uncomfortable, then speak up!

You won’t be bad guy for speaking your truth. If everyone around him is hyping him up to believe he can gain full custody of this child, then they are all lying to him. It will crush him when he goes to court and the judge tells him the truth. He may go into a tailspin of depression, and anger, and he may even become distant with you. We don’t know what the real damage this may do to him, so it’s best that someone be honest with him, and don’t contribute to this pipe dream he has.

And, what I know for sure is that you are upset and hurt that your man is considering your child his second child, and the other child as his first. You’re hurting and upset because you don’t know why he is claiming a child that is not even his, and he is not even acknowledging your child as his first child. You’re saying to yourself, “How dare he think of our child as his second child? I’m carrying his baby, she didn’t! I’m not deceiving him, she did! Why hasn’t he connected with me like he did with her?” Those are the underlying comments and statements you’re saying to yourself. Boo! I peeped your letter and what you’re really saying!

So, stop playing the supportive and loving girlfriend who is trying to be there for her man, and be real about your feelings and emotions. You don’t think it’s fair, and you don’t appreciate not being acknowledged, especially your first child with him. You don’t want this other child in your home, and you want to move on with your life with your boyfriend, be a family, and one day get married. You want this other woman out of your life and nothing to do with her, because if he gets full custody of the child then she will forever be in your life, and you don’t want a reminder of her in your life. You just want to move on! That is the truth of what’s going on!

Now, if you keep your feelings bottled up, and you don’t say anything, then one day you’re going to snap, and it won’t be pretty. You’re going to say some things, and he’ll say some things, and then your relationship will be over. And, it’s all because you refused to speak up and be honest about your feelings and this situation.

And, on the real, I don’t think he can legally seek full custody of the child that is not his. The courts will seek out the father of the child first before they hand over the child to your boyfriend. And, even if the mother gives up custody of the child, the courts will still seek out the father. He has not legal claim or stake into gaining custody of the child.

So, it’s time to get real and be real. I suggest meeting with the social worker, and let them speak with your boyfriend about his desires to pursue legal custody of the child. The social worker can be real with him about his options, and share with him how they may be unrealistic. Also, ask the social worker to recommend a counselor that your boyfriend can speak with about this emotional and mental bond he’s developed for this child. The counselor can help him get to the bottom of his feelings, and what’s really going on beneath all of this. Again, he may feel guilty and want to do for the child, and may feel the mother is no position to care for the child. And, perhaps he desperately wants to be a father, and since your child has not been born yet he hasn’t that the opportunity to develop a bond or relationship with his own child. Maybe this will happen when your child arrives, and he may move on from his delusions of seeking custody of the other child. However, to err on the side of caution, it’s best to seek counseling and have him get to the bottom of his desires, and what is driving him. Good luck to you! – Terrance Dean

Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Share your opinions and thoughts below!

Also, e-mail all your questions Terrance Dean: loveandrelationships@bossip.com

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Make sure to order my books Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15); Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria Books – June 2008); and Straight From Your Gay Best Friend – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Love, And Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden Books – November 2010; $15). They are available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!

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Who’s Yo’ Momma? Katherine Jackson Asks Judge To Disregard The Paternity of Michael Jackson’s Kids

 Uncategorized  No Responses »
Apr 182013
 

Jackson kids at industry event

Let Michael rest in peace! Geez. Can we honor the man’s legacy without constantly dragging up the paternity of his kids?

Katherine Jackson Asks Judge to Disregard The Paternity of Michael Jackson Kids

According to The National Enquirer

The secrets that Michael Jackson took to his grave about the paternity of his three children could now explode in court!

In a bid to keep those secrets, the late super­star’s mother Katherine pleaded with a judge to disregard the identity of his children’s biological parents during the $40 billion wrongful death suit she’s filed against con­cert promoter AEG Live.

The judge agreed to keep the paternity of Prince, 16, Paris, 15, and Blanket, 11, out of court. But sources say the informa­tion may yet become public during the upcoming trial, which could drag on for months.

“KATHERINE HAS CLEARLY BEEN told by her attorneys that AEG wants to explore the rumors about the children’s paternity to create doubt about whether they are his true ben­eficiaries,” a Jackson family insider told The ENQUIRER. “Now she’s doing everything possible to prevent the children – and the public – from learning how these kids actually came into the world.”

Katherine’s lawsuit demands that AEG Live pay Michael’s heirs, in­cluding his children, a whopping $40 billion in damages related to their hiring and supervising of Dr. Conrad Murray, who’s been con­victed of involuntary manslaughter in Michael’s drug-related death on June 25, 2009. And the 82-year-old family matriarch took a dramatic turn toward winning the case on March 14, when her lawyers filed a bombshell legal motion in Los An­geles Superior Court, arguing that “evidence intended to show that Michael Jackson is not the biological father of his children is irrelevant” to the suit. The motion also said: “Evidence intended to show who the biological mother is of the children is also irrelevant” to the case.

While the judge agreed with Kather­ine’s argument, sources say her legal victory may be short-lived. According to a published report, sources within AEG claim the company has sworn affidavits, birth records and other ma­terial containing “irrefutable proof ” that only Blanket has Michael’s DNA, and Prince and Paris were fathered by different sperm donors.

The acknowledged mother of Prince and Paris is former medical assistant Debbie Rowe, who was married to Michael from 1996 to 1999.

But as The ENQUIRER reported in July 2009, widespread reports alleged Debbie’s boss, Michael’s dermatolo­gist Dr. Arnold Klein, fathered Prince and Paris, which Klein has denied. Other sources claimed the two were the result of an anonymous donor.

“If AEG presents irrefutable proof that the two oldest children are not Michael Jackson’s biological children, they could actually get the upper hand in the case,” celebrity attorney Raoul Felder told The ENQUIRER.

“It’s sad, but it would mean the chil­dren have no legal standing.”

Meanwhile, Katherine fears Blanket could inherit some of Michael’s health problems, including the skin condi­tion vitiligo and the autoimmune disease lupus, said the source.

“Right now, she’s watching all three kids closely and desperately trying to stop AEG from ruining their lives,” said the family insider. “The last thing Katherine wants is for family secrets to be blurted out in court.”

Hopefully Ms. Jackson can finally make AEG pay for her son’s death!

Getty Images


Are You My Daddy?? Ex-NFL Baller Hines Ward Sued For Child Support By Groupie Claiming He Fathered Her 1-Year-Old Daughter

 Sports  No Responses »
Dec 172012
 

ward1

Where is Maury?

Hines Ward Sued By Woman For Child Support

Via TMZ reports:

Former NFL star Hines Ward … come on dooooooown … it’s time to play ARE YOU THE FATHER???

A woman named Melanie Smith filed a lawsuit in Georgia this month … claiming the former Pittsburgh Steeler is the biological father of her 1-year-old daughter.

According to docs, Melanie wants Hines to admit he fathered the kid — and if he refuses, she wants a judge to order a blood test in order to establish paternity.

The maybe baby mama is also asking Hines to start coughing up child support … if it’s determined the child is actually his.

A judge has yet to rule.

FYI — Hines already has one other kid, with his ex-wife Simone.

Take the paternity test. If you are the father, pay for it. If you aren’t, sure the crap out of this woman for making false claims. End of story.


Rumor Control: Jovan Belcher’s Mother Puts Paternity Questions To Rest “Zoey Is Jovan’s Baby And My Grandbaby, I Never Had Any Doubt”

 Uncategorized  No Responses »
Dec 152012
 

belcher-perkins

Phew, well that’s a relief. Jovan Belcher’s mom ain’t with all the reckless rumors about her grandbaby’s paternity and claims reporters went rogue with a recent report that her son fought his child’s mother because he had doubts about whether he fathered her child.

Via NY Daily News reports:

Jovan Belcher’s mother angrily denied a report that claimed she told investigators that her son had argued with his girlfriend about the paternity of their baby before he shot her dead and killed himself.

“It’s a lie. It’s all a lie,” Cheryl Shepherd told the Daily News on Friday. “That’s my grandbaby and it was wrong for them to put that out there. That is Jovan’s baby and it is my grandbaby.”

The New York Post, citing an unnamed law-enforcement source and an anonymous Kansas City Chiefs insider, reported that Shepherd told authorities that the couple had argued over the paternity of 3-month old Zoey on the morning of Dec. 1. That would have been right before the Chiefs linebacker shot Kasandra Perkins, then drove to Arrowhead Stadium, where he shot and killed himself in front of the team’s general manager, head coach and an assistant coach.

Shepherd, from West Babylon, L.I., was at Belcher’s Kansas City home when Perkins was shot, and made a desperate 911 call in an attempt to save her.

She told The News there was never an argument about the identity of the child’s biological father.

“I never said that,” she said. “You are hearing it from the horse’s mouth. Zoey is Jovan’s baby and my grandbaby. I have never had any doubt.”

A Kansas City Police Department spokesman said the lead investigator in the case had not uncovered any information that corroborated the report.

“We haven’t had anyone give us that information,” Darin Snapp, the KCPD public information officer, told The News. “I talked to the lead detective on the case, and he hasn’t received any information of that nature. It might be true, but none of the witnesses or people we have talked to have provided that information. I can’t confirm that (report).”

Snapp added that the case file had been turned over to a prosecutor’s office, and that if any paternity issue surfaced, it would be handled as a civil matter.

Shepherd has maintained custody of Zoey, although Perkins’ family — the 22-year-old Kasandra was from Texas — indicated in a statement that it would be involved in the girl’s upbringing.

An open-casket wake for Belcher was held in Dix Hills, L.I., on Tuesday, and a funeral was held on Wednesday at the Upper Room Christian World Center.

Belcher was a star player at West Babylon High School and attended the University of Maine before playing for the Chiefs.

“I’m not going to say anymore, but I want you to put this out there: That baby is Jovan’s baby. That baby is my grandbaby,” Shepherd said.

You tell ‘em mama!


Hide Ya Kids…From Ya Wife: Woman Puts Baby Up For Adoption Behind Husband’s Back And Court Takes Child Back From Adopted Family

 Uncategorized  No Responses »
Dec 052012
 

ht_frei_family_jp_121205_wg

Was the court right or wrong to side with the father and take the child from this family?

Woman Puts Baby Up For Adoption Behind Husband’s Back

A Utah family that was recently ordered to return their newly-adopted daughter to her biological father says they aren’t going down without a fight.

The family adopted the child when the child’s mother put her up for adoption without consulting with her estranged husband who claims he had no idea that the process was taking place.

via ABC News

A judge has ordered a Utah couple to return their adopted toddler to her biological father after it was revealed that his wife gave up the child without the father’s knowledge or permission.

The couple, Jared and Kristi Frei, now has 60 days to return the 21-month-old girl to her father Terry Achane, a U.S. Army drill instructor. But the Freis’ lawyer told ABCNews.com that they will not give up the girl, whom they call Leah, and will appeal the judge’s ruling.

Achane initially feared that his wife, Tira Bland, followed through on a threat to have an abortion. It was several weeks after the baby, whom he calls Teleah, was born that he learned the child had been adopted and was in Utah, according to his lawyer.

Achane, 31, was stationed in South Carolina on March 21, 2011, when his estranged wife gave birth in Utah and immediately turned the baby over for adoption.

Achane is now thrilled with the judge’s ruling and the prospect that he will be united with his baby.

The family who adopted the child is also claiming that the biological father left his pregnant wife to fend for herself without any contact during her pregnancy 2 years ago.

This is a touchy situation, but we side with the father if he was genuinely unaware of what was happening and was looking forward to being a father to his child.  What do you think?

Image via Shutterstock


The Side-Eye: Has Nas Been Paying Major Mula For Child Support On Seed That Isn’t His?

 Uncategorized  No Responses »
Dec 042012
 

Nas Kelis

Sorry but we don’t believe you. You need way more people. Rumors are rapidly spreading that Nas isn’t the father of Kelis’ son, Knight.

This morning we spotted a blind item on Rhymes with Snitch that read remarkably similarly to a tip we received last week and quickly dismissed. Here’s the RWS item:

Once upon a time there was a young dragon slayer who hailed from Queens Bridge.

This fabled dragon slayer slayed dragons twice his size with ease, though he never quite reached the heights of the dragons he has slain.

But that’s not what this tale is about…

There are whispers in the Kingdom that Young Slayer might not be the true sire of his dear beloved progeny.

Scandalmongers have been sharing tales about a certain husky lover taken by Young Slayer’s former fair maiden who may indeed be the actual seed spiller.

Fair maiden’s husky lover has now, by the way, moved on to a child of destiny.

And here is the info we were sent:

Kelis is keeping a secret. The father of her son is former football player Wale Ogunleye not Nasir Jones. After adult freaky tape allegations leaked featuring Kelis and a man other than her husband she decided to become pregnant to save her failing marriage. She though it would take a few months for her to conceive but she was pregnant within a month. She and Ogunleye were having an affair and things happened so quick she was uncertain of the child’s paternity. That’s why she refused to allow Nas into the delivery room and refuses to allow him to visit her son without her or the nanny. Her son has striking features he inherited from his biological father who is of Nigerian decent. She just recently purchased a foreclosure in Glendale California, and is desperately seeking a sponsor. She fears losing another property she has had two foreclosures and two evictions since her divorce. Ogunleye has since upgraded and is now dating Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child.

wale-2-e1269954489625

Here’s a photo of Ogunleye who did date Kelis back in 2010.

Sorry but we’re calling bullisht on this one right out the gate. There is NO WAY in hell after all the legal hoops these two have jumped through that Nas didn’t have that baby DNA tested. Whoever is spreading these rumors needs to get a life.


Update: 13-Year-Old Girl Stabbed 2-Year-Old Sister Seven Times And Threw Body Off Balcony Because She Caught Her Having Sex

 Uncategorized  No Responses »
Nov 252012
 

This story just got sadder…

2-Year-Old Atlanta Girl Stabbed To Death By Sister

A 13-year-old girl is to be charged with the death of her two-year-old half-sister, after the toddler was found dead behind their family home near Atlanta, Georgia.

Via DailyMail:

Tyasia Jackson was charged yesterday with stabbing young Sasha Lamaya Ray and leaving her in the backyard of the family’s home on Waldrop Trail, near Atlanta.

The teenager was looking after her siblings while her parents were out. When they returned they found Sasha at the rear of the house, police spokesman Mekka Parish said.

Their other children were in the house at the time Sasha disappeared.

The victim’s biological father, Shelton Ray, said his young daughter is in heaven now.

‘She’s gone on to glory now. Now it’s up to me to make it to where she is,’ he told Channel 2 news.

‘Like I tell all my children, they have to get themselves into heaven. I have to get myself into heaven.’

He said the teenager called him Monday night around 11pm and confessed to the murder. Ray told CBS News Atlanta that the teenager was caught with a boy inside the home while he and her mother were away from the house.

He said a neighbor went to the home and found the boy hiding inside a closet and told him to leave.

Ray said the teen told him that after the boy and other friends left, Tyasia asked for her siblings to go upstairs and kept Sasha downstairs.

The teen told Ray she then took Sasha towards the back door of the home and stabbed her seven times in the chest.

She then threw Sasha’s body over the balcony.

RIP to Sasha Ray.

This is just so sad. Rest in peace to this beautiful little girl. We hope the family gets through this incredibly tough time and the troubled teen gets help.



Where’s Skeletor Marc Anthony?? Casper “Cougar Cub” Smart Loves Playing Doting Daddy With Jennifer Lopez’s 4-Year-Old Twins

 Uncategorized  No Responses »
Sep 292012
 

Coño cabron…

Casper Smart Is Said To Love Spending Time With Jennifer Lopez’s Children

Via USMagazine

Jennifer Lopez isn’t the only one getting pampered by Casper Smart.

The backup dancer-turned-choreographer makes it a point to spoil her 4-year-old twins (with ex Marc Anthony), and stopped by a recent Xbox 360 event in L.A. to score some games for Max and Emme.

“He was going on about how he loves playing with them,” says a witness.

Smart, 25, is equally enamored of his girl, 43.

“He’s madly in love with her,” the insider says of Smart, who will join Lopez on the European leg of her tour in October.

Adds the source, “It’s not just that she’s his lover, she’s also his best friend.”

It’s just a matter of time before those kids start calling their biological father “Marc”…SMH

Image via SplashNews


For Discussion: Convicted Rapist Fighting For Visitation Rights With The Child He Fathered During The Attack…Should He Be Allowed?

 Uncategorized  No Responses »
Sep 262012
 

Convincted Rapist Wants Visitation Rights With The Child He Fathered During The Attack

A man convicted of raping and impregnating a teenage girl now says it is his legal right to form a relationship with the child he fathered since he admitted to fathering the baby and will be required to pay child support.

FoxNews reports:

A Massachusetts man is seeking visitation rights to the child he fathered after raping a 14-year-old girl, setting the stage for a legal battle in the Bay State.

The teen mother was raped by the 20-year-old family friend three years ago and says she still suffers from severe anxiety and depression. She says she is terrified at the prospect of having any dealings with her tormentor, reports MyFoxBoston.com.

“All this family wants is to cut the cord. Get the rapist out of their lives,” said Wendy Murphy, attorney for family of rape victim. The victim and her family are fighting back, saying the toddler’s biological father is only showing interest in the family now that the child support bill is coming due.

“She got raped at 14. She decided to keep her baby. And now she has to hand her baby over for a visit with her rapist?” the victim’s mother told the station.

This is just outright craziness. There wouldn’t even be a child if this savage didn’t rape this poor teenage girl in the first place; but on the other hand, there is the issue of the child being able to at least have some type of relationship with the biological father.

Do you think this man should be allowed to visit the child he fathered during a rape?

Image via Shutterstock


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