My family is an absolute mess...Oprah?

[Ivy Christine due 05/02/09]

Well, I don't even KNOW where to begin...but basically my family is a mess that I'm afraid Oprah couldn't even BEGIN to set straight.

I don't live at home anymore, I'm out on my own. (Thank God) but my parents and three younger sisters and my little nephew still live at my parent's home.

They are constantly in danger of losing their house to foreclosure...my mom actually "chases" the electricity/cable/water trucks down the streets monthly to keep from having their water turned off...they pay everything late and rack up thousands of dollars of late fees they can't pay...basically they have dug themselves DEEP.

Not only are they in financial ruin, but my 17 year old sister moved away from home because of the constant fighting between my 20 year old sister who has a 2 year old and cares more about partying and spending other people's money than anything else (this girl is a WRECK...bipolar I'm sure...doesn't do anything for her son, dirty, messy, sleeps around, drugs, drinking) and none of my sisters work. They all mooch off my parents...make the house a WRECK. I don't even like to pee in their bathroom when I go home it is so gross. Seriously...dishes with rotten, moldy food on them on the counters, in the sink...dirt on the floor, trash all over the place. It is dirty...so gross.

My mom and dad both have good jobs but stopped caring about investing in their marriage and are bitter about the family situation.
Everyone gave up. My mom plays this stupid computer game at least six hours a day. My dad drinks a lot and although he is a harmless drunk he goes to bed early and doesn't get involved with anything for the family.

Anyway, the seventeen year old who moved out dropped out of highschool, the twenty year old with a son screams and yells and hits my mom. My mom vents to me about her non existent sex life and how she wants to "run away" and abandon everyone...I feel like her therapist.

Can I do ANYTHING to help them without getting too involved? I'm engaged, in school full time, working full time and am 6 months pregnant. I feel sad to know that my parent's house is too gross to EVER leave my daughter there to visit.

I need Oprah.
:( I keep telling them to kick her out...I think she is one of the roots of the issues. My mom is too tender for her though because she had a rough childhood and wound up being on her own. Talking to her is like talking to a brick wall though. :P


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[ssej1078]

i am so sorry about yuor situation,, You mom and dad need to lay down the lay and reclaim there house , if that means kicking out all the freeloaders so be it.. I cant believe that your 20 year old sister is acting like a big freaking child.. and she has a 2 year old to contend with

I really think your parents need to say get the f out of our house,,

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[marcellahanseth]

th ey have to want to be fixed, all you can do is wait for that to happen, and do the best you can with your life...try not to let it affect you or your future with your fiancee..

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[Robert G]

Accountability is the biggest thing. I think your parents would be a lot better off if there weren't people around that aren't doing anything for the better good. Your 20 year old sister needs to get a job and help pay the bills if your parents are struggling since they help her not have to pay for a home herself. If not a job she could at least clean the house. If she doesn't want to do that Child Protective Services could take her child away from her or she should give him up for adoption because she isn't ready to be a parent. I don't know how old your other sister is but if she can walk and talk she can clean. I think you have your plate full right now and even if you really wanted to, too much effort in their situation may hurt your own. Either school grades, work, your relationship or your baby could suffer from your time spent, but they are family and I know you love them. Just make sure that your family will be different. Have lots of sex with you husband, finish school and get a great job, save money just in case something happens, and teach your kids the importance of helping around the house.

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